Since the dawn of time, nearly every man (and I’d wager to guess most women) has, at his most visceral level, secretly desired for one thing – to be standing triumphantly atop a heaping pile of his slain enemies, holding a gigantic axe aloft while some unbelievably attractive member of whatever gender he’s attracted to desperately clutches his leg like it’s the last life raft on the HMS Titanic

Since the dawn of time, nearly every man (and I’d wager to guess most women) has, at his most visceral level, secretly desired for one thing – to be standing triumphantly atop a heaping pile of his slain enemies, holding a gigantic axe aloft while some unbelievably attractive member of whatever gender he’s attracted to desperately clutches his leg like it’s the last life raft on the HMS Titanic (Ben Thompson, Badass: Ultimate Deathmatch: Skull-Crushing True Stories of the Most Hardcore Duels, Showdowns, Fistfights, Last Stands, Suicide Charges, and Military Engagements of All Time)